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An Open Letter October 21, 2010

Filed under: Travel Blog — olgathered @ 7:07 am
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Dear parents of the world,

I understand that you love your children and think that they are precious or whatever. The cold hard truth is something different.

Your children are gross walking bags of germs hell-bent on getting anything that educates them infected with their cooties. Good job birthing the most effective means of biological warfare. I’m still not sure why you declared this war on teachers, but you’ve clearly decided to make tiny people so that you could ensure that I would have a perpetual cold.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Sincerely,

Teacher Mary

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GinSing Sing September 2, 2010

Filed under: Travel Blog — olgathered @ 3:05 pm
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Those little bundles of germs I call students got me sick again.¬†That troop of¬†little boogers gave me a head cold. Fortunately I live in the land of ginsing. In every cornermart you can pick up a 4oz bottle for a buck. They come piping hot and tasting of liquid black liquorish, but they taste a ton better than sick feel. They get you back on your feet in no time flat. I’m on a regiment of 4 a day to get over this case of the sniffles. No matter where you go with your little brown bottle, someone will ask you, “You. Sick?” I must be, why else would I be drinking this swill? “Ney, kamsamneda.”

 

 
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